Get dressed and step out of the house. Head to a place where they sell appliances. Buy an electric citrus juicer—aim for the highest quality, don’t spend more than 50 euros. Now, off to a fruit market.

Locate the orange counter. Identify the Navellina oranges – it’s an art. Put on the gloves (don’t skip this step for any reason). Arm yourself with a bag. Pick 10 oranges, but don’t just grab randomly. Choose based on these criteria:

1. Size: Bigger is better.
2. Color: Go for intense orange; they’ll be sweeter and riper. Avoid those leaning towards white.
3. Softness: Skip the rock-hard ones, go for the softer ones, but not too soft.
4. Skin perfection: Opt for those with flawless peels, or at least fewer imperfections and dents.

Weigh them, put on the label, and pay for your oranges. Go home.

Test your brand new citrus juicer. Rinse the fruit squeezer. Now, cut two oranges in half, perpendicular to the axis of the segments. Squeeze them all. Pour the juice into a large glass; if you feel like squeezing an extra orange, go for it. Pour the pulp into the glass too (don’t skip this step for any reason). Remove any seeds.

Drink the divine content in a single gulp. Enjoy the delicious taste of the juice and appreciate the fact that from now on, this is your life. Every week throughout winter, until March 21, you’ll buy 10 oranges. Every morning, effortlessly squeeze two and relish the fruits of the earth.

Laugh as your chances of scurvy drop to zero. Mock those juice bars selling for 4.50 euros because the cost of all this amounts to about 65 euros for 60 juices (5 juices of 2 oranges per week for 12 weeks), based on how long your citrus juicer lasts over the years.

Mock diseases trying to attack your body as the divine nectar fortifies you. Mock death, which has no power over you. Mock depression, obliterated by the oranges. Embrace the citrus-powered life!